He’s Got A Hold On Me

Experience: Recognizing the significance of my failed relationships and suffering. 

I Messed Up. 
One smile changed my life. One smile of longing and desire saturated me.
One smile grabbed my fleeting feet and pulled me towards a door reserved just for me.
Darkness and blindness overtook me and now I’m losing sight of direction.
I’m losing sight of me.
I reach out for an escape, a key…anything to help me flee.
Then I hear that smile say “I have the key. It’s just out of your reach”.
I stop.
I crawl.
I reach out.
I’m lost…

Then I see it. My smile. The smile reserved just for me persuasively repeats:
“This key.”
“This key depends on you, which depends on me.”
“Your only way out is to seek happiness in my inadequacies.”

I can’t do this, but I need that smile!
I want to smile!
No! I need to escape…

One. Two. Three. Breathe. Read more

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